The truth about mental health in the workplace: a personal journey towards honesty.
The Mask of High Functioning
Imagine being asked, point-blank, about your mental health struggles during a job interview. That's exactly what happened to me, and it left me feeling exposed and vulnerable.
I had to make a choice: be honest and risk not getting the job, or minimize my experiences and hope for the best. I chose the latter, and it set the tone for years of navigating the "honesty gap" in my professional life.
But here's where it gets controversial: should I have been expected to disclose my mental health history in that moment? And what does it say about our society that I felt the need to lie?
The Cost of Pretending
Despite my efforts to downplay my struggles, I landed the job. But the truth is, I was battling a depressive episode throughout my entire time there. I worked tirelessly, trying to prove my worth and atone for my mental health.
I became a master of disguise, hiding my panic and anxiety behind a polished email or a calm exterior. My colleagues had no idea about the daily battle I was fighting.
And this is the part most people miss: the impact of this constant pretending. It's exhausting, stressful, and can lead to a pattern of overwork and burnout.
Finding My Voice
I began to experiment with honesty outside of work, in my creative pursuits. It became a safe space for me to express my true self and my experiences. This led to the creation of my memoir podcast, "No Feeling Is Final," which unexpectedly opened doors to greater honesty in my professional life.
Now, when I walk into a new workplace, people already have some understanding of my mental health history. It's not perfect, and it can still be awkward, but it's a step towards closing that honesty gap.
The Power of Transparency
Recently, I found myself in a high-pressure situation, leading a stressful project. My anxiety was peaking, and I recognized the warning signs of an impending episode. This time, I decided to take a different approach.
In a Zoom meeting, I gathered the courage to speak up: "I need to be transparent. This project is impacting my mental health. If it gets worse, I won't be able to continue leading it. We need a backup plan."
I felt vulnerable, but my boss surprised me with her understanding. She already had a contingency plan, and together, we successfully completed the project while prioritizing my well-being.
This experience showed me that honesty doesn't have to come at the cost of competence. In fact, it can lead to a more sustainable and supportive work environment.
A Glimpse of Hope
My journey towards honesty is far from over, but moments like these give me hope. They show me that change is possible, and that by closing the honesty gap, we can create a more compassionate and understanding workplace.
I'm Honor Eastly, co-founder of The Big Feels Club, dedicated to supporting individuals with long-term mental health challenges and their workplaces. My advocacy work has been recognized with the Australian Mental Health Prize.
So, what do you think? Is it time for a shift towards greater transparency and understanding in the workplace? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments.
